Personal Post: When we’re old

My husband turns 30 on Monday. I know 30 is not old but when I think back to who we were 11 birthdays ago when we first started dating, man have we AGED! lol.

Instead of 4am bedtime i’m under the blanket by 12 TOPS or else I can’t keep my eyes open the next day.

Instead of sleeping in on the weekends until 11 we’re up with the sun and two toddlers that immediately start begging for waffles and HobbyKidsTV on the ipad.

Our joints ache, our backs crack and our muscles are sore. And that’s just 30.

But the best part? I don’t care. I’m excited for what life throws at me in this chapter of life. Where will we be in 5 years? 10? 20?

There IS something i’ve been thinking so much about lately. It’s not just about when we’re old…it’s about when they’re old. My 4.5 year old and almost 3 year old. When they’re in their late 20’s/30’s, how will they see us, their parents?

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When my children grow up and are adults with their own families I don’t want them to fear being asked about their parents. I don’t want their answer to be “who knows” when someone asks them how we are doing. I don’t want them to resent us for things we didn’t do or didn’t say, I want them to be proud to be our children…counting the ways they are similar to us instead of doing everything they can to not be like us.
 
Jack is so so smart…he can do puzzles himself and solve mazes, he’s strong willed and stubborn and he’ll make an amazing entrepreneur one day (so I hope) because I have this gut feeling that he’s just built for it. He challenges and questions everything which may annoy me but it means that he’s always learning and never settles for an incomplete answer. He’s loud and proud and in charge…he’s a Lion of a child and he’s destined for great things. 
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Olivia is creative and hilarious. She’s a thinker, carefully planning every move and executing them. She’s definitely type A like her mom which frightens me greatly for when she’s a teenager, I may learn to drink. Her quick wit and ability to start a toddler conversation with ANYONE just makes me so proud. She’s a social butterfly and a definite entertainer. 
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These children are going to be adults one day. They’re being set up every day to survive being an adult (which is a hell of a challenge most days if you ask me) and it’s our job as well as others that are around them every day to help us prep them for life. I don’t ever want them to think that we’re doing a bad job or that we’re not trying enough for them. I don’t ever want them to feel unloved or unwanted. I don’t ever want them to feel like they were not meant for great things, because they so are.
Your job as a parent is to be there. You’re eyes, you’re ears…you’re a shoulder to cry on, you’re a never ending advice box, you’re a hug and a kiss, you’re an i love you. You brought these children into this world so commit 100000% to seeing your job through.
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It’s tough. It’s the hardest fucking job you will ever take on as a human being. It’s the most frustrating, sad, happy, proud and exciting job you could ever take on and it’s YOUR job. Every fucking day until the day you die. It’s not our children’s jobs to love us- it’s OUR job to love them. Take it seriously.
When we’re old…our kids will be proud to be our kids. They will say, yes, mom and dad struggled sometimes but they never gave up on being there for us rain or shine. Mom and Dad didn’t always like eachother but they always showed us how to love eachother. Mom and Dad worked so incredibly hard every single day to make sure we had everything we needed. When we’re old, our kids will know that we love them every damn day whether they prove their love or not because it’s OUR job to make sure they know.
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hello@topepperwithlove.com
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